I wrote this. Yup. Me. Look, it’s my name, right at the top. No, not the top of the whole page. That’s Timothy McSweeney’s name. Look a little further down. Yeah, past the italics stuff–I didn’t write that. Yes. There. See? My name, and then SO MUCH FUNNY STUFF AFTER!
Guess which line is Bassie’s favorite. No, really. Guess.
“Mom, I’ve taken an interest in writing things in a diary lately.”
Oh, have you now?
Basya’s birthday (or as I like to call it, the day I started screwing up my children) was yesterday. If you bought her a present, the thank you card is in the mail.
In more game-changing news, Basya starts the trumpet today. If you sent her your old trumpet in the mail, thanks for that. We are only steps away from forming The Klein Family Big Band now. Now, if only we had a time machine to take us back to 1932, we’d be all the rage at the speakeasies.
Additionally, Dina has begun to use the phrase “That is not acceptable in my universe” as a way to establish her displeasure with events, restrictions, responses, etc. I do not think that she got that phrase from me. If she did, I apologize to humanity.
Bassie: I bet my teacher will be surprised when I tell her that I think that the best movies I’ve ever seen are Roman Holiday and Jaws.
Me: I don’t think she’ll be surprised at all. See (I go on imdb), both of them were nominated for Best Picture the year they were made. So critics agree with you: those are two of the best films ever made.
Bassie kisses me on the cheek. I think that means she’s pleased.
Bassie: What do you think I’ll be when I grow up?
Me: I don’t know. You have a lot of talents but you could take them in a lot of different directions. Like, you’re a good writer and thinker, so you could write novels, or you could have a more business-type job like writing ad copy or being a lawyer…
Bassie: I want to do something with a flexible schedule.
Dina: That would be ‘college’.
And scene.
Me: So, did you think Jaws was a good movie? (Yes, we showed the girls Jaws last night. No, Bassie did not have a nightmare about man-eating sharks like she claimed she would. Phew!)
Bassie: Yes.
Me: As good as Star Wars?
Bassie: Yes.
Me: As good as 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Bassie: Yes.
Me: As good as Lawrence of Arabia?
Bassie: (pauses) Well…
Me: I guess they’re really different kinds of movies, huh?
Bassie: Y:es, because in Jaws land is mostly scarce, but in Lawrence of Arabia water is mostly scarce.
Me: You just blew my mind.
Bassie: (dismissively) Yeah yeah…
Well, we’re back from Chicago and getting ready for a new school year. Dina’s been quite the inquisitive young lady lately, about some pretty big-ticket items, as evidenced by the following encounters:
1. Yosefblog has been reading David Foster Wallace’s Everything and More: A Compact History of Infinity. Dina saw it on his bedside table and asked:
Dina: What’s this about?
yb: Well, it’s about infinity, and how lots of people used to think that if you thought about infinity too much, you’d go crazy.
Dina: I’ve been thinking about infinity my whole life! Are you telling me I’m crazy?!
2. I came home from a particularly trying day working with a pilot program at my school meant to create a values-based education curriculum.
Dina: So, how was your day at school?
Me: To tell the truth, a little stressful. I’m not sure how I feel about this values-based curriculum.
Dina: Why?
Me: Well, what might be some of the problems you encounter with trying to teach students to be “good people”?
Dina: Well, what if they’re just really bad people and they won’t do it?
Me: That could be a problem. Or, what if their idea of what’s good in a certain situation is just different from what we’re teaching? Should we make them do it the way the school has determined is best?
Dina: No, you should let the students decide for themselves.
Me: But then, sometimes, they might make decisions that would really hurt other people, or themselves. So this is the issue I’m struggling with.
Dina: Ahhh…I see…
Some of you are wondering whatever happened to Camp Klein. I realize that in our excitement over our impending trip to Chicago, I had neglected to fill you in on the details of our last week.
Highlights included:
*Dina taking a day off from camp to babysit her little cousin Finn. She took her hard earned $5 and…bought a Subway sandwich. She claims that it was a tastiest sandwich she’s ever eaten. Ahhh…isn’t the fruit of one’s labor always the sweetest? Even if that fruit is low-quality roast beef.
*A hike up the famous Great Blue Hill Trail. It was rough going,
but we made it to summit and back, a glorious achievement. Next hike: K2.
*Bowling Day was our last excursion. In two games, Bassie emerged the victor by 2 points, although it is worth noting that she did use bumpers, so my self esteem didn’t suffer too horribly at the loss.
Action Shot!
*Last Friday was our Farewell Day. We made scrapbooks of all of our memories and had a friendship circle where we shared our favorite times from camp. Luckily, we all swapped addresses and phone numbers so we can keep in touch during the school year.
I can honestly say that, going into this month, I was really nervous about whether I could keep up with entertaining and educational programming for four weeks, whether the girls would make it through a whole month with pretty much only each other and me as daily companions, whether the whole thing wouldn’t just peter out and end up in three weeks of Movie Days. But I have to say, this was one of the most fun experiences I’ve ever had, and such a wonderful and special time to have with the girls, especially because very soon they will not want to be seen with me in public. Sure we slept in until 10:30 when we meant to wake up at 9. Sure the girls had some knock-down-drag-out fights that may or may not have resulted in me turning around from the driver’s seat to tell them to “quit their bitching”, after which a discussion about whether I had just used a swear with them or whether the word, when used as a gerund, is merely slang and thereby not directly derisive (a debate that they’ll no doubt take up with their therapists at a later date). But, seriously, we had a great time. So great that Bassie thinks we should offer spots to other kids for Camp Klein 2011.
Gulp. Anyway, here’s some merch to tide you over until then.
Now the girls are in Chicago visiting Bubbie and Zaide and Gramma and Grampa (and soon Uncle Matt and Jazzy and Paul and Josie and Aunt Elisa and Uncle Pat and Uncle Mike). As I type, they are with Bubbie at Legoland. Don’t worry, I didn’t get left out. I chose to stay behind so that I could go to Tre Kroner for lunch. CINNAMON ROLLS! QUICHE! Honestly, I don’t recommend anyone go there unless he is prepared to forever have the IKEA cafeteria pale in comparison. Yosef, I am sorry I went there without you. But I am fully prepared to return for more quiche when you arrive next Friday.
Tuesday was Scavenger Hunt Day, and I had the girls running all over town asking trivia questions and collecting items from neighborhood businesses. Here’s a sample:
The questions
And the girls in action:
Just look how charming they are! YOU'D tell them YOUR favorite movie, too!
Yesterday was Game Show Day. Dina was horribly frustrated by Jeopardy and her inability to remember to state her response in the form of a question. Today she watched an episode of the real show that I recorded for her last night, and her response was, “That show is for adults!” Touche, Dina. Touche.
Today we visited the Decordova Sculpture Park and Museum, which is quite lovely. It was also quite populated with insects, which did not make Basya happy. What made me laugh, however, was Dina’s belief that she had never been stung by a bee, when, in fact, she was stung by a bee in pre-school. See, it’s clearly no big deal, Basya. Unless you’re allergic to them and happen upon an entire hive of them while alone in the woods and your girlfriend’s dad ironically owns a funeral parlor. Then you will most likely become dead.
We haven’t forgotten about you. It’s just that this past week has been quite a whirlwind. Grampa left, and Lee came, leaving only a two day window that we filled with Top Chef Day and Board Game Day. After the “Breakfast in Bed” Quickfire, the girls each got $30 to spend at Whole Foods to create a dinner inspired by a summer destination (Bassie got Overnight Camp, Dina had Hawaii). In the end, Dina’s unifying use of Macadamia nuts won the day, but Bassie’s iconic mashed potatoes will be featured in a future Top Chef cookbook.
On Board Game Day, Dina threw Rachel under the bus when she quit Monopoly, giving all her properties to Bassie. Rachel’s superior reflexes and spatial skills won the day in Make or Break (small victories), and Dina learned some excellent SET strategies (such as the “Sniff & SET”).
With Lee here, it was Science Day for two days. We made silly putty, cracked geodes, and looked directly into the sun (w/special glasses, silly!)
This week is off to a lazy start w/Pool and Patio Day, but Scavenger Hunt Day is tomorrow, and I’ll have the girls running all over town.
