Yeah! And he isn’t even that cute!

And her manicure looked great, too. Seriously, people notice, and it’s really hard to strike the balance between man-hands and feminine ones. Hillary didn’t even try. So I applaud you, Sarah Palin, on you immaculate cuticles and unobtrusive “Revlon Sheer Nude” colored nails. Huzzah!

Okay, I think we’ve reached our palin-saturation point. Back to something cute Bassie says about her first day of school (tomorrow) for next post.

apparently we’re not the only ones who noticed

Blerg.

p.s. this is going to be a fun two months…

“Sure, why not?” he replied. “Gonna watch the next female Vice-President of America.”

I smiled. “Oh, yeah, I bet that’s all they’re covering today.”

But the remote was not working too well from his angle, so I offered to do it for him.

“Um, what do you want, like, CNN or something?” Now, I grant you that I did not do a very good job connecting the dots between his first statement and his cable news choice, but, honestly, I’ll watch any pundits when I’m working out, because for me it’s just about the showmanship and the meta-text of the absurdity of what the media has become in this country. So to me it’s all the same. To him, it was not.

“How about FOX?!” he cried not without a hint of indignation.

“Oh, right, sure,” I giggled nervously, then spent 5 minutes going up and down the channels looking for it.

Now, this story could be about my inability to pick up social cues, or my unhealthy love for television punditry, but to me, it’s actually about something pretty serious. This guy, who is clearly already voting for John McCain, was appalled by the suggestion that he watch CNN. I was shocked by his preference for a news station so ridiculously biased toward what is already his disposition. I mean, with so many cable news networks and radio talk shows out there pandering to various political views in the guise of being actual “news” sources, people with strongly polarized views have the option of not only tuning out the stations that don’t tell them what they already believe, but actually looking down on those stations as inferior news sources, while upholding their pet station as the authoritative source. This not only makes the viewer feel better about the beliefs he already holds, but discourages him from considering that roughly half of our population believes otherwise, and in neither case could it possibly be that everyone in the half you’re tuning out is a) crazy or b) an idiot.

Another point along these lines. Many people have misconceptions about Barack Obama. Not a few still think he is Muslim, or that he was not born in the United States (which, if any of you people took your Constitution tests, you would know is impossible, and which also has Alexander Hamilton clawing his way out of his grave shouting the refrain “Me first, then!”). Pundits said that the Convention needed to “reintroduce” him to the American people, and show that he was just as much “substance” as “style”. But the people at the convention are already voting for him. And the people watching it on tv are either already voting for him or looking for yet another reason to hate him, which the post-mordem on FOX I’m sure supplied. I wouldn’t know, I was watching CNN.

But, then again, I also already know who I’m voting for.

Then, making an explicit appeal to Ms. Clinton’s disappointed supporters, she said, “It turns out that the women in America aren’t finished yet, and we can shatter that glass ceiling.” (read whole article)

Wait, wait, no, I think I’ve got it…ooh, ooh. Um, it’s, like, a mix of pandering, subterfuge, and, what’s that high note in there? Wait, oh, yes, condescension. The most frightening thing is that there are probably more stubborn and stupid women than I’d like to think who will actually buy all this and love this woman**. I can just hear than thinking, “McCain’s old. He’ll probably die. And then, finally, there’ll be a woman in the White House (who doesn’t share any of my political views but so what because she’s so accomplished and put together)!”

**Uh, okay, here’s one of those women (click here if you want to see the whole “article” and the hilariously partisan “comments” on both sides):

“I was a strong supporter for Hillary Clinton. But after she was left out of the VP position for the Democratic party I have thought about voting for McCain With the nonination on Gov. Palin I definately am going to vote for McCain now. Any woman who can run a household of five children and a marriage and a governorship of any state deserves our votes. I think it is a stroke of genius. (I just wonder if Obama’s campaign wish they had nominated Hillary now). I hope McCain gets the votes of all those women , who like me, wanted a woman in the White House. Who can juggle a career and a family with an iron fist and still come home and look that good. (Bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan). You go Palin.

(Woman ) Democrate from South Carolina”

“See, Mom. She has Dunkin Donuts. You have to get used to the Bostinities!”

Bassie tooth update: top tooth number 2 is under the pillow. Hmm…I wonder what would happen if the tooth fairy stiffed her this time? Better not find out…

and, oh, what ’s up with the popularity of these intentionally retro gender-tomes? his and hers. Looks like somebody has a case of the “way we never were”s. Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t mind the idea of gender-specific knowledge (what guy ever needed to know which size tampon to use, you know?), but the whole style and marketing of these companions is a bit…cloying, is that to word I’m looking for? No, hm, maybe, uh, disingenuous? Wait, don’t tell me, I’ll think of it…

31 is full-on “married with two kids” age; “feasibly as old as my doctor” age; thinking that “Seth Rogen is such a nice kid with a great future ahead of him” age. I am “the man”.

Feels okay? Yeah, feels okay…

I am convinced that he is the culminating link in a chain of human evolution that splintered off just prior to the Bronze Age. His DNA should be kept frozen until Global Warming destroys civilization and we need a race of superhumans to rebuild it with nothing but jackknifes, parachute pants, and lots of strong, heavy jungle vines.

The only time I have seen him remotely fazed was when he admitted that he was “getting a little down” after a grueling week in mud-soaked, rain-soaked, croc-infested Sumatra; I lose it when I have to wait in line for over 30 minutes at the DMV. The man is a machine.

(And, by the way, I refuse to hear any ridiculousness about how his show is “not real” or something because he does a show that had to be produced and he’s not really in a real survival situation. Yeah, we know. There’s a camera guy with him, for God’s sake. You go try and do exactly what he does and let me know how fake it is…)

FAQ
Q: Will there still be regular toilets in the park?
A: Of course.

Q: Why, you might ask, wouldn’t a person simply go to the bathroom before riding on the roller coaster?
A: What if you have to go right when the ride starts?

This is why the movie Big is bullshit.