accidental feminist

No!!!!!! July 11, 2008

Walking and driving around Boston, my sense of geography is microcosmic. The city feels self-contained, and could be anywhere. I didn’t realize what a psychic comfort this was to me until I found myself watching the weather forecast on the local news last night. Why, I thought, is the meteorologist standing right in front of the Midwest? I can’t see Chicago, dude! And then, he made some comment about some uncharacteristically high humidity for Sunday. “Well, it’s been lovely today, though. Hey, that’s why we live in New England.” Uh, who lives in New England, honey? I live in the Midwest! Wait, no! I Don’t! I live in narrow-streeted, pub-covered, glorious-leaf-changing, concerned-by-Atlantic-hurricanes, Kennedy-loving New England. Whoa. I miss you, Chicago.

“Let’s hear it for nonconformity”. “Um, what is ‘an actual line said without irony in a recent McDonald’s commercial, Alex?” July 2, 2008

Hipsters and hip young families “changing how we live, how we relate, how we eat…chicken for breakfast? I’m just that anti-establishment, dude…” Brilliant, if by brilliant you mean “preposterous yet effective marketing”.

my confidence is shaken May 30, 2008

I like the song “Cecilia”. This post is not an attempt to defend it as a fantastically catchy little pop tune that is great for working out to, or driving in your high school friend’s convertible to, or slapping whatever hard object happens to be around to simulate drums to. No. Because I know all of the rational arguments against “Cecilia”, and right now, it’s not about that.

This post is about a moment of clarity I had today as I was changing out of my gym shoes by the door of the Evanston Athletic Club. “Cecilia, you’re breakin’ my heart. You’re shakin’ my confidence daily…” Yes, that was certainly the word I heard. Daily. But that’s impossible, says Luke Skywalker, it’s “baby”…isn’t it? But, like the optical illusion, I had suddenly seen the old hag, and I could not go back to the young society woman with the feather in her hat. How many years had I sung this song in error? Well, for as long as I’ve been singing it. It’s “daily”, as sure as the nose on my face. Not “baby”, you idiot. Daily. Daily. Daily.

Suddenly the world feels so full of possibilities…

welcome, michael paul! May 4, 2008

Congrats, Jazzy and Matt! I can’t wait to have conversations with you about raising children that aren’t theoretical.

everything i know about john adams i learned from watching “1776″ the musical March 20, 2008

I said this yesterday at dinner, with sincerity and a complete lack of irony (something for which musicals, until Urinetown, have always been known). yosefblog found it funny. I guess I should be watching this instead.

remember when we first started blogging… January 28, 2008

…and it was all exciting and everything? I would get butterflies in my stomach every time I’d see a new little circle on my google diagnostics? What happened to us? You don’t even notice if I go away for weeks at a time. Have you been reading someone else’s blog? I know, I’m sorry, I’m being paranoid. I just get so insecure…I love you too, honey.

Well, at any rate, here’s something funny:

Dina and I went to school late one afternoon to pick up my purse that I had left there. There were only a few people in the building. As we were walking out, Dina pointed to the lockers and asked:

Dina: Are those for your students?

Me: Yup.

Dina: (after an almost imperceptible pause) Are they in there right now?

Me: Yup, They’re sleeping.

Dina: Really?

Me: Yeah…shhh. Don’t wake them.

Dina: (laughing) they’re not in there… (then) are they? (then, running) hurry, they’re going to get us.

Me: Yeah, they’re zombies!

Dina: Mommy! They’re not really zombies! Don’t scare me!

Oh, okay, that’s over the line, huh? Who made up the idea that they sleep there in the first place?

hold the phone! November 14, 2007

Wow; I think Christopher Hitchens is the first person to ever hypothesize that most funny women are “hefty or dykey or Jewish”. Honestly, there is very little new information in this article. Why write it, then, you ask? I’m not sure, but I think it has something to do with Christopher Hitchens being an attention-starved, controversy-whore. This coming from a female comedian…

I have no words. November 10, 2007

Me: (pointing to a picture of The Beatles in The New Yorker) Hey, Dina, look, it’s The Beatles.

Dina: Why aren’t they mermaids?

Me: Why would you think they’d be mermaids?

Dina: You know, cuz when they sing; they’re, like, pure, and, like, energy…

Me: And you think that would translate to them being mermaids?

Dina; (slightly sheepishly, due to the realization that these criteria do not, although they should, make people mermaids) Yeah…

Epilogue: When fact checking w/ Dina before posting this story, she claimed that what she said was that they were “elastic energy”. I think she added that just now, but it’s a good revision. I’ll leave it to you to decide which version you disseminate to the people in your life who are not AF readers, but eager await the updates that you provide to them.

Bound= So that’s really Jennifer Tilly’s, like, real voice? November 3, 2007

No, seriously, This movie rocked. It’s like an awesome mobster movie tucked inside a lesbian seduction film. There’s some scenes that are just so well shot, you think how they really belong in an even more epic film (like Caesar grabbing a dead mobster by the lapels and demanding he answer the question “Who’s dead now?”, and a beautiful slow mo of a bullet hitting a glass picture frame). Then, if, like me, you were forbidden to read the case before watching the film, you see in the credits that this is a wachowski brothers film, and it all makes sense. And then you picture them during filming, saying “Dude, we need some slow mo shots in there. Look! We don’t know why! It’ll just be better that way, trust us! More slow mo!!!!!!”

mazel tov! September 27, 2007

stevereed is a friend and long-time AF-er. He also just became a Daddy! Looks like someone needs to register the url “accidentalmisogynist.com” and start blogging about his precocious daughter! I’ll totally link you, dude!