accidental feminist » The Kids http://accidentalfeminist.com Fri, 09 Dec 2011 18:31:34 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 Morning Routines http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/12/09/morning-routines/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/12/09/morning-routines/#comments Fri, 09 Dec 2011 18:31:34 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=931 So, every morning I come in to wake up the girls with a little ritual. First, Basya. I climb into her bed and cuddle for a minute, then gently inform her that the shower is running for her and that if she doesn’t go now she’ll kill all of the polar bears by wasting water. She asks me to “escort” her (her word, not mine) to the bathroom; I do.

Next comes Dina. She’s a tougher nut to crack, so to get her out of bed, I have to start talking to her in ways that are so bizarre that she feels compelled to respond. I often call her weird things. So, this morning:

Me: Hey, twiddle sticks.

Nothing.

Me: Hey, tumble tot.

Groan…nothing.

Me: Hey, fig popper.

Dina: Fig popper?

Me: Yeah. It’s a fig, stuffed with cheese, and then deep fried. Have you ever had one?

Dina: No.

Me: Why not?

Dina: I’ve never had the time.

Me: What do you mean? They don’t seem like they’d take a long time to eat.

Dina: They take 20 minutes to eat.

Me: Why?

Dina: Because, you’re only supposed to eat the fig. So you have to take off all the breading…

Me: Wait, then why do they put the breading on in the first place?

Dina: For texture.

Me: Ohhh…Okay, well, it’s 7:20, so you better get up and get dressed.

Dina: Wait…I’m practicing this Shakira move from the “She Wolf” video.

Whole other story…

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/12/09/morning-routines/feed/ 0 Speaking of Vampires http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/10/23/speaking-of-vampires/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/10/23/speaking-of-vampires/#comments Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:57:23 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/10/23/speaking-of-vampires/ Dina’s been really into vampires lately (although I’ve successfully kept her away from the Twilight franchise). Of course, she thinks boy vampires are dreamy. Today at brunch we talked about why that might be…

Me: So, Dina, why do you think vampires are, like, sexy?

Dina: Because they’re cute.

Me: But, like, why do we imagine them to be cute?

Dina: Because they have pretty eyes and stuff.

Me: No, but, I mean…okay…like, they’re not real. We invented them in our minds. So, like, for example, what about the way they eat? What’s sort of romantic about it?

Dina: Ohhhh…It’s like a hickey!

Pause. Dina’s face lights up.

Me: That’s pretty interesting, huh?

Dina: Yeah…wow.

Me: What do you think of that?

Dina: It just makes so much sense now. Like, they’re exchanging emotions but they’re exchanging blood!

Never too young for Jung, is what I always say.

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/10/23/speaking-of-vampires/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/10/04/from-the-mouths-of-babes-2/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/10/04/from-the-mouths-of-babes-2/#comments Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:38:38 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=926 “Why is there so much clothing on me?!” cries Dina as she scurries to the bathroom.

I mean…right?

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/10/04/from-the-mouths-of-babes-2/feed/ 0 so true. so, so true. http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/04/12/so-true-so-so-true/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/04/12/so-true-so-so-true/#comments Wed, 13 Apr 2011 01:32:57 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=921 Hey, is anyone reading this still? Should I still be posting here? Just wondering.

Here’s something that happened today:

Me: Dina, your allowance from Sunday is just sitting on the table.

Dina: Oh, yeah…I’ll put that away.

Me: Where’s your birthday money?

Dina: I think I put it on my dresser.

Me: You don’t really care so much about money, do you?

Dina: Nope. Money doesn’t make happiness.

Me: What makes happiness?

Dina: Love.

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/04/12/so-true-so-so-true/feed/ 2 The LOLsiepops Strike Again. http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/02/22/the-lolsiepops-strike-again/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/02/22/the-lolsiepops-strike-again/#comments Tue, 22 Feb 2011 20:00:18 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=916 This time Basya’s going solo in a sketch inspired by Food Network hosts who get a little over-excited about their dishes. Written and performed by Basya (with editorial assistance and camera work by her mom). Enjoy!

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/02/22/the-lolsiepops-strike-again/feed/ 1 come again? http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/01/21/come-again/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/01/21/come-again/#comments Fri, 21 Jan 2011 21:22:25 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=908 What Basya said: “What am I going to do when I’m done with my laundry and Dina isn’t?”

What I heard: “What am I going to do when I turn into a zombie and Dina isn’t?”

Either is a valid concern, although the second has more far reaching implications.

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2011/01/21/come-again/feed/ 0 the hot zone http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/28/the-hot-zone/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/28/the-hot-zone/#comments Tue, 28 Dec 2010 18:02:48 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=899 Me: Bassie, we were thinking of maybe going to this Muppets exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry.

Bassie: No. I don’t like the Muppets.

Me: What?! You love the Muppets!

Bassie: Not anymore.

Me: Adults love the Muppets!

Bassie: Exactly. Adults and little kids. I’m nine, Mom.

Me: Ahhh…so you’re in the hot zone where don’t like anything.

Bassie: Exactly…I’m moody.

Walks away to indicate that conversation is over. Also, can we just appreciate the brilliance of correlating “moodiness” with “apathy”? Now remind me that I said that when we’ve been in the hot zone another five years…

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/28/the-hot-zone/feed/ 0 Introducing: The LOLsiepops! http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/14/introducing-the-lolsiepops/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/14/introducing-the-lolsiepops/#comments Wed, 15 Dec 2010 01:52:06 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=895 Well, we knew this day would come. The day that Basya and Dina decided they want to make the funny like their Mom. So, they formed a two-person sketch team and named it The LOLsiepops. This is their first video. They’re planning one a week until they make it big.

I’m pretty sure they’ll be famous before I am.

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/14/introducing-the-lolsiepops/feed/ 2 Basya blames everyone. http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/14/basya-blames-everyone/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/14/basya-blames-everyone/#comments Wed, 15 Dec 2010 00:01:46 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=893 Basya: What’s that prison island?

Me: Alcatraz?

Basya: Yeah! Yeah. They stole that in Harry Potter!

Me: Oh, cuz of “Azkaban”?

Basya: Yeah! “Alcatraz”. “Azkaban”. And it’s a prison surrounded by water and you can’t escape.

Me: You think those are too close?

Basya: Yeah. I don’t like that they did that.

Me: You mean that J.K. Rowling did that? Do you blame the publisher?

Basya: Yeah. I blame the publisher, the editor, everyone involved in making the books.

Harsh.

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/12/14/basya-blames-everyone/feed/ 1 my kids talk funny, if by funny you mean awesome http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/10/09/my-kids-talk-funny-if-by-funny-you-mean-awesome/ http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/10/09/my-kids-talk-funny-if-by-funny-you-mean-awesome/#comments Sat, 09 Oct 2010 13:45:03 +0000 Rachel http://accidentalfeminist.com/?p=879 “Mom, I’ve taken an interest in writing things in a diary lately.”

Oh, have you now?

]]> http://accidentalfeminist.com/2010/10/09/my-kids-talk-funny-if-by-funny-you-mean-awesome/feed/ 0