Jack Bauer/ Survivorman/ Bear Grylls
I am convinced that he is the culminating link in a chain of human evolution that splintered off just prior to the Bronze Age. His DNA should be kept frozen until Global Warming destroys civilization and we need a race of superhumans to rebuild it with nothing but jackknifes, parachute pants, and lots of strong, heavy jungle vines.
The only time I have seen him remotely fazed was when he admitted that he was “getting a little down” after a grueling week in mud-soaked, rain-soaked, croc-infested Sumatra; I lose it when I have to wait in line for over 30 minutes at the DMV. The man is a machine.
(And, by the way, I refuse to hear any ridiculousness about how his show is “not real” or something because he does a show that had to be produced and he’s not really in a real survival situation. Yeah, we know. There’s a camera guy with him, for God’s sake. You go try and do exactly what he does and let me know how fake it is…)
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