accidental feminist

function junction March 28, 2008

Me: Bassie, when’s the last time you did math with Daddy?

Bassie: Last week, we did factions.

Me: Fractions?

Bassie: No, factions. Like when you put one thing in and get another thing out.

Me: Oh, functions. So what’s a function?

Bassie: It’s like if you but a big pile of meat into it, it comes out as connected hot dogs.

Me: But what does that mean for math? Like, if the function is y=2x, then any x you put in will get multiplied by 2. Like 20 becomes…

Bassie: 40.

Me: And 125 becomes…

Pause.

Pause.

Why is this taking her so long, I think.

Bassie: 62 1/2.

Me: (thinking for a second first) Wait, you changed the function to y= 1/2x.

Bassie: Oh, yeah.

Me: Hey, how’d you do that in your head?

Bassie: I just wrote the problem down in my mind. 125 minus whatever half of it is.

Me: no, that doesn’t make sense because if you could write that, you’d already know the answer.

Bassie: Oh, right. So I did 100/2 is 50; and 20/2 is 10; and 5 doesn’t divide in half unless you use a fraction, so 2 1/2. So…62 1/2. She smiles.

everything i know about john adams i learned from watching “1776″ the musical March 20, 2008

I said this yesterday at dinner, with sincerity and a complete lack of irony (something for which musicals, until Urinetown, have always been known). yosefblog found it funny. I guess I should be watching this instead.

inadvertently damning slide shows March 14, 2008

This one, of Lindsay Lohan (bottom right of the page, click to see it), and this one, of Barry Bonds. It’s like a flipbook of an apple that suddenly and inexplicably becomes a banana in the middle. I think if we all had slide show retrospectives on the web, it would be much more clear to ourselves and the rest of the world at exactly what point we lost the will to live/sold our souls.

point taken March 10, 2008

I’m driving the girls to school, when Dina asks:

Dina: So how old is Caillou by now?

Me: (warmly, not without a little bit of condescension) Oh, well, he’s a cartoon character, so he doesn’t age. Just like it says in the song, “I’m just a kid who’s four…”

Silence, and she let’s me leave it at that. But then, the next day, in the car, I’m telling yosefblog this charming little story of childhood innocence and misunderstanding, when it suddenly occurs to me:

Me: Wait, Dina; did you ask how old Caillou is because the song goes “I’m just a kid who’s four, each day I grow some more“?

Dina: (emphatically, and not without a little bit of condescension) Yeeeeeesssss! (pause) I think he’s 15 by now.

okay, I feel better now. March 8, 2008

I know I was upset about the Patriots before, but if anyone deserves to win the Super Bowl, it’s the guy whose favorite childhood movie is the same as mine. Stay away from the cans, Eli!

george clooney weekend!

Last weekend yosefblog and I happened to have two Clooney films come up in our cue (and our mailbox) at the same time. This Synergeorgey led to a weekend of salt ‘n pepper hair and understated smooth. Michael Clayton was actually a surprisingly simple film, given that it was sort of a thriller-ish sort of movie. And Tilda totally deserved the Oscar on that one; unlike Michael Clooney-Clayton, who will, upon seeing the car that should have killed him blow up, run straight up to it and throw all of his electronics in it in order to fake his death, thereby buying the time necessary to devise the perfect payback to screw the evil fertilizer conglomerate, Tilda’s character will fall to the ground, stricken by her own crippling guilt and fear, while Clooney coolly swaggers away in victory. It’s the ultimate commentary not only on the abuse of power, but on the difference between the way that women and men handle that power. Is it a coincidence that the phrase Clooney uses to indicate to Swinton that she has lost the game of brinkmanship is “You’re so fucked”? Hmmm…probably coincidence, but still…

And then there was “Ocean’s Thirteen”. Mexican factory strikes. Love potions. Prosthetic noses. Men being men; gotta love it. “Remember that thing with that guy in that place?” Yup.