For reasons I can’t quite get into now, I ended up singing this entire song (with the original lyrics, not my amended title above) in a show the other night. And then I got to thinking about it, and I started actually considering the narrative, and I got really pissed. Consider:
* Yes, it sucks for the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (BWBB) that he’s stuck in the army without his trumpet, but…
* He’s a selfish prick for allowing the captain to draft, what, at least two (if we’re talking a trio) or up to, I don’t know, 40 (if we’re talking Big Band) more talented musicans into a gruesome war from which they might never return just cuz poor little BWBB “couldn’t jam”. It would have been like drafting Joey Fatone* to fight in Iraq in 1991, and then Joey being like “I can’t “work it” without the other New Kids, you know, man?” And then Marky-Mark would have probably gone in solidarity, and you know he’d be the one to die, cuz he’s superbadass, and then we never would have had Entourage! Because some guy’s a little “down in the dumps”. It’s a WAR, dude! Suck it up and play that little no-valved trumpet!
*I love the fact that I wrote “Joey Fatone” (of N’Sync) when I obviously meant “Joey McIntire” (of NKOTB). I love it even more that no one even noticed the difference.
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You got a little mean there, huh?
If caring too much is mean, then I am guilty as charged. Have you seen Ken Burns’ new documentary? Or “Saving Private Ryan”? Those poor little boys on a fool’s errand…
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