accidental feminist

I’m sorry, but who ever heard of a 4th of July parade where they don’t throw candy at the children, or at least hand our key chains, or even paper fans with company logos on them? Evanston Township, you’re on serious notice. And just so you know what I had to resort to because of your thoughtlessness, no, your downright Un-American-ness, Evanston, I was forced to conduct a one-woman parade for my children when we got home, where I did handstands and made balloon animals while throwing them marshmallows and fruit roll-ups. Right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, indeed!