Whilst in my pretentious college days I once argued with a classmate over who was hotter: Raskolnikov or Hamlet, these days I am stumped as to who to crown my tv fantasy boyfriend (oh, where has the ivory tower gone?). Here’s the rundown:
House: Brilliant Asshole
Jack Bauer: Tactically Perfect w/ a Martyr-Complex
Alan Shore: (Self) Righteously Indignant Misogynist
Jim from “The Office”: Adorably Hilarious w/ No Self-Esteem or Direction in Life
How to choose? They each represent both the best and the worst of what makes a man a man. And maybe that’s why they’re such fantasies. You can enjoy both the “good” and the “bad” as compelling (which they equally are), without running the risk of being sucked in by their charms and then emotionally destroyed by their tragic flaws. I never have to worry that House will berate me, Jack will die on me, Alan Shore will emotionally detach from me, or Jim will lose his nerve; no, no, they only do that to the other girls. Me, I’d be different. I would bring out the best in them. Granted that did not happen with every other tragically flawed/ borderline abusive relationship after which I chased throughout my younger days. But I’m so much wiser now; now I would know exactly what to do to bring out their highest potential. And they, they would take me in their arms and whisper “Thank you, thank you”. Ahhh…yes; I’m so much wiser now. (I guess the only smart thing I stumbled upon was to actually marry a man who does not, in fact, exhibit the trait of housing within himself mutually destructive extremes. Whoops…)
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