accidental feminist

I thought I asked to be taken off the mailing list… March 29, 2007

I’m not going to provide a link to the website of this organization, nor will I list its name on this blog, for fear that I will inadvertently become part of some Evangelical webring, but I just have to share with you the charming cover of a pamphlet I received today. Imagine, if you will, a cartoon of a racially and ethnically diverse group of charming ten year olds (so basically, imagine the Wee Pals). The Japanese girl (and I say she is Japanese because she is wearing a cute little “schoolgirl” outfit) points at herself incredulously and asks, “Am I a sinner?” The African American boy holds up a big sandwich board (how exploitative) that reads: “Yes! God says: ‘all have sinned…’ No one does right like God does right.”

Oh man, so that’s what I should tell Bassie and Dina when they clean their rooms. “Yeah, that’s good and all, but I bet God’s room is waaay cleaner.”

answer: “phrase that will induce vomiting if I hear it one more time on ‘24′?” March 27, 2007

“Uh, what is ‘within the hour’, Alex?”

I mean, at least you could rotate a little; “greater than 10 minutes, less than 60″, “before lunch”, or “soon…very soon” are some humble suggestions.

today was “that day” March 20, 2007

Bassie: Mommy, I’m going to ask you a question, and I don’t want you to laugh, and I want you to think about it before you answer.

(Oh, here it comes, what will I say, oh no, I’m not ready, I knew this day would come, I…)

Me: Okay, honey.

Bassie: Does it hurt to die?

Heart dropping into stomach. Pause. Pause.

Me: Well, if someone’s really sick, then being sick might hurt them. But dying doesn’t hurt.

(Does it? Existentially speaking, I think I’m covered.)

Bassie: Oh.

Dina: I don’t want to die.

(Ahhh! No, no, I’m not ready for both of you to do this…)

Bassie: But you have to; everyone dies. But it doesn’t hurt. ANd you won’t die till you’re very very old.

(Thanks, Bassie. You can take it from here…)

clap to humor the fairies March 16, 2007

Bassie saw “Peter Pan” yesterday, which she loved. When I asked her about Tinkerbell, she said, “Oh, yeah, when Tink drank the poison, everyone had to clap to make her come back alive, even if you didn’t believe in fairies.”

Me: What? You don’t believe in fairies?
Bassie: No, but I clapped anyway.
Me: Why would you clap if you don’t believe in fairies?
Bassie: Because I wish there were fairies.

Interesting. So as a follow-up, and because my husband and our friends Joni and Justin were incredulous at her sophistication (although it’s a wonder that anyone would be surprised by anything that comes out of her mouth anymore), I asked her later in the evening:

Me: Bassie, do you know what the Tooth Fairy is?
Bassie: Oh yes!
Me: What is it?
Bassie: It’s when you or daddy talk my tooth from under my pillow and throw it away and leave me a treasure.
Me: Okay, well don’t tell any of your friends, because they’d be really upset if they found out the I was the Tooth Fairy.
Yosef: Yeah, Mommy works very hard to keep her secret.
Me: I’m the Tooth Fairy for the whole county.
Bassie: (Laughs as if to say “You two are so cute!”)

the perks of having children March 13, 2007

I emerge from the bedroom this morning and check on Dina, who I had set-up with a movie a few minutes earlier while I was getting dressed.

Me: Good morning, Sweetie.

Dina: Good morning, Lovie.

And, 1…2…3…awwww.

anchoring March 12, 2007

Yesterday I took my kids and my mother-in-law (Hi Mom!) to see West Side Story. I love the show, and it was a great production. But something strange happened to me while Tony and Maria were singing “Tonight.” Let me give you some background.

In high school I had a friend/boyfriend with whom I had a very intense and strange relationship. We both loved West SIde Story (yes, I know what you’re thinking Yosef, and no, he was not gay!), and, even when we weren’t dating, even when we were dating other people, we would always end our marathon phone conversations with a line from that song. One of us would say “When you dream”, and the other would finish “Dream of me”. It kept our romance alive even when it wasn’t actually happening, and it made us feel supernaturally and melodramatically connected. At any rate, I had forgotten all about it.

But when I heard those lines yesterday, I got the chills; my eyes began to well with tears, and I felt a deep sense of connection and longing. The thought of google-stalking this ex-love even crossed my mind. But then, I waited, it passed, and left me with only a fond memory and the realization that these kinds of things never leave us, and shouldn’t, because rediscovering them is less like opening an old wound, and more like finding that piece of candy you hid from yourself so that you’d have it when you thought you’d eaten it all.

and her parents must be so proud! March 9, 2007

My objection to this advertisement is simple: it is just completely unrealistic to suggest that a band of gang rapists would be that well dressed and groomed. Come on!

yosef’s insight might be more sociopolitically sound: didn’t feminism teach us that it’s a woman’s right to choose to be gang raped?

notes on a scandal= awk-ward! March 7, 2007

I can’t imagine that any young, female middle or high school teacher could watch this movie and not squirm. Icky!

That said, everyone was incredibly well cast:

*The “love interest”: good looking, but clearly just barely past puberty…and those freckles! It’s not like “Desperate Housewives” where you can pretty much understand why Gabrielle is having an affair with John; it’s more like watching a very mature Dennis the Menace have an affair with his best friend’s mom. You’ll suspend your disbelief for the sake of the movie, but in those moments of suspension-lapse, you’re just a bit disturbed by what you’re watching.
*The teacher: Cate Blanchett is just ethereal enough to pull off the lightweight and yet compelling character. You don’t see why everyone is so enamored with her, but you find yourself being drawn in, too.
* Judi Dench is a bitter old hag! And she gives hope to every aspiring actress who thinks you have to be thin and pretty to make it. You don’t; but if you’re not, you better be, let’s say, one of the ten greatest living actresses in the world.

women in comedy- more thoughts March 5, 2007

Now that I am back in the world of comedy and improvisation, I’ve been hearing a lot of opining about the role of women in comedy. Some of the things I have been hearing
* You’re the funniest non-lesbian woman I know.
* You will have a better chance of making it in the improv word because they always need “strong women”.
* “Ladies, fight the power” (a photo in TImeOut Chicago of something Tina Fey wrote on the Green Room wall at Second City)
* Lesbians do stand-up; straight girls to improv (yeah, that might have been the same person from comment #1; okay, we get it…)

At any rate, this is all very interesting to me, and I wonder how far women have come in comedy. Can we walk out onto an empty stage and assume some universal, everyman (loaded term) role, or are we relegated to a necessarily female persona? Are we expected to be not quite as good as our equivalent male counterparts, but it’s okay, because it’s so impressive just to see us actually be pretty funny sometimes?

All I know is, I have met some damn fine improvisers over the past year, and I’d say they split about equally down gender lines. Maybe I just happen to have been lucky enough to have come in with a new crop of exceptionally talented women. So is comedy affirmative action still a reality; and is it really a compliment to be told: “You’re so funny, for a woman!”

happy bassie devotion day March 1, 2007

No joke. Bassie tld me about it yesterday, as in:

Bassie: Mommy, tomorrow is Bassie Devotion Day.
Me: Oh, what’s that?
Bassie: It’s a day my friends made when they’re devoted to me. You know, like making pictures for me and stuff.

Turns out she’s got a little fan club among a couple of the 5th graders in her after care program, and she is not making this up.

So which is more awesome/ridiculous: the Mike McClain Fan Club that the Seniors at Mac created when Mike was a Freshman, or Bassie Devotion Day? Blog in your vote now…