accidental feminist

there is nothing i can say… November 27, 2006

Click to be disturbed

aces high! November 22, 2006

When Matt and Jazmin come to town, the darnest things happen, like Bassie learning to play poker. When she woke up this morning we discussed the night’s events:

Me: So were you up really late playing poker?

Bassie: (groggily) Not so late.

Me: I heard Matt beat your Straight with a Flush.

Bassie: Yeah, but then I got three of a kind.

Me: Cool.

Bassie: Isn’t it funny that aces are high? It seems like they should be zero…I mean, one.

Me: Yeah, I mean, what’s higher than a King, really?

Bassie: (straight-faced) An ace.

Me: No, I mean, who would be higher than a King in real life?

At this point Bassie grows tired of my irrelevant hypotheticals and leaves the room to go cuddle with Jazmin.

Ah, Thanksgiving…

phrases that automatically sound cute the first time your child says them:

“Get outta town!”

I swear they save them up and use them when they know they can get maximum “aww!” effect.

stephen col-hottie! November 17, 2006

Finally!

citizens of flattery November 9, 2006

I have known something for a while now: you get what you pay for. That $30 curl defining fluid I got works better than L’oreal. Yosef’s fancy business school suits look nicer and drape better than the Brooks Brothers staple he had before. And designer jeans really are cut to flatter. Now, I will add that, since people are different shapes, not every pair of jeans will flatter every person.That’s the same with any brand of jeans. But I have to say that the “right fit” in a pair of designer jeans is just an experience that cannot be matched at gap. How can these fit so snuggly and yet not make me look fat? How can they fit my largely proportioned bottom half and not gap on my waist? How can they be low rise and not make my fat bulge out at the sides? The answer? They’re made by Citizens of Humanity.

Ladies, be patient. I went through about a year of being told so many different things about jeans:
* Seven Jeans are not made for curvy girls (false! You just need the right cut, although I feel like a New Trier girl with those “a”s on my butt).
* Paige Premium Denim is perfect for curvy girls (False= every pair I’ve tried on has gotten the “okay shrug” from Yosef. Fine, but not “fine”.)
* Joe’s Jeans Honey Booty Fit is a curvy girls godsend (Eh…sort of. Really, though, I find them to be hit or miss. There seems to be something counter intuitive about making a low rise cut for a girl with a little extra hip fat (I know this contradicts my above comments about COH, but like I said, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t). I’ve had my moments with them, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not the elixer they claim to be; that said, they’d probably be a good second pair to get once I’ve replenished my arsenal of frivolous spending money).

But now I’ve finally found a pair that truly live up to the “premium” price tag. But don’t take my word for it. Just check me out the next time you see me. Ooh-la-la.

The Girls Next Door = Fodder for the Amateur Anthropologist November 7, 2006

I say! Good recommendation, Marissa, old chap! What fun it is to watch Hugh Hefner’s three girlfriends unleash their sexual dysfunction and good-heartedness on America. Some noteworthy tidbits:

* Who would think that a young woman who has been dating Hugh Hefner for five years would have had a crush on Dr. Drew of Love Line as a teenager because “[she’s] always had a thing for guys with grey hair”? Absent father figure: 1; Playmate: 0.

* So you’re not allowed to marry more than one woman, even if it’s part of your religious belief system and it’s completely consentual by all parties(which, yes, I admit is questionable in many cases), but you can put up your three girlfriends in your house if you’re an 80-year-old Viagra-popper. Hello? Why don’t all those mormons just claim that they’re playboys?

Good, clean fun.

how soon they learn November 2, 2006

Elie is Dina’s best friend at pre-school. The teachers like to say he is her boyfriend, which I don’t think is necessarily off, considering the fact that Dina tells me how they play prince and princess all the time. Of course, it’s innocent enough, like my relationship with Benji Unger until his dad said something nasty to my mom about what Benji was doing or would do to me (I never quite got her to tell me exactly what it was), and her faith in the purity of childhood “romances” was crushed.

At any rate, this is all prologue. Today, Dina opted to wear her less favored gym shoes to schoo, rather than her nice mary janes. Why?

“Elie likes my gym shoes, Mommy,” said Dina. No joke. She’s actually dressing for this kid. Well, good for her. I’ll just have to explain to her that one should not build social capital by conceeding one’s position of power, but rather by using one’s power to garner favor and influence.

What would Sun Tsu say?