accidental feminist

skinny jeans = eating disorder catalyst September 28, 2006

I mean, we all know that, right? But to just put it right there in the name. Not “slender” jeans or “low BMI” jeans. “Skinny” jeans. And by the way, it’s also a hint: do not wear these unless you are skinny. It’s knd of the same rule as the “super low rise”. Don’t wear them unless they look “super” on you, i.e. you have no hip fat.

When Audrey Hepburn is your model, you’re kind of writing off the size 4 and ups, you know?

(thanks to mirth for recalling my attention to this crisis today)

it’s bassie’s birthday! September 27, 2006

Call to wish her a happy 5th. She says I no longer have to walk her up to the door when I drop her off at school. To everything, turn, turn, turn…

spam spam spam spam…

What’s with the comment spam? Where’s my webmaster? And how can I fit my big boobs into my panty hose? Great site! Keep it up!

fear of flying (bugs) September 19, 2006

Any suggestions for how to get Bassie over her fear of all flying bugs? And I mean all: bees (understandable), flies (pushing it), knats (she doesn’t even know about the silent “k” yet, how can she fear it?)

All suggestions should be accompanied by a diagnosis of the root cause for which this is a secondary symptom, action plan, and prognosis.

I pay only for results.

it’s all about me; even Nathaniel Hawthorne September 12, 2006

To illustrate a point on the power of guilt and embarassment to keep one from being honest while discussing “Roger Malvin’s Burial”, I told my students about the time that I was at the dentist and he asked me “how often do you brush your teeth?” Thinking he was being hypothetical, and wanted to ansewr correctly, I said “Three.” He seemed shocked and pleased. “How do you do that?” heasked incredulously. At this point I sort of realized, as far as my conciousness would let me, that I had just decieved him, but not wanted to have to go back and explain it, I remembered Kevin, the super nerd of the school, and how he brought his toothbrush in his lunchbox. “You bring it in your lunchbox,” I said, being sure to use the same hypothetical second-person that I knew he was using at the start (never mind that my “lunch box” was a used plastic Jewel bag with one torn handle). With that, he opened his drawer and took out a “Cavity Buster” sticker and handed it to me. I wore it like a badge of shame; but I wore it.

mary poppins = feminist propaganda? September 6, 2006

Suddenly, It struck me! The only functional caretaker is the only who can leave whenever the wind changes. The mother, bound not only by political inequality and gender conventions, but by hyper-corrective feminist aspirations, can neither fulfill herself nor her family. Only Mary Poppins, the beautiful (according to Walt Disney; P.L. Travers always thought Julie Andrews was “too pretty”) but untethered uber-female can fulfill her fantasies (quite literally, by living them out in chalk drawings, ont he ceiling, etc) and succeed in traditional female roles. She is not just a “super nanny”, but a “super woman”, creating a male-fantasy ideal to which other woman can never match up. She is there, she is perfect, then she leaves, maintaining the fantasy of her perfection and freezing it in time. She is ever youthful, just flirty enough (the peek-a-boo underskirt in “Step in Time” was not an accident), and untouchable. I have to go, but bonus points to the person who finds the essay on googlescholar.

That Disney was a sick dude!