accidental feminist

I’m a naughty girl February 28, 2006

…and not for the reasons that people who might find this post based on a google search for “naghty” would think. No, my dirty little secret is that I went out last night; that’s right, a school night. In fact, my evening ended up being a feminist field trip of sorts.

First, it was off to the Sarah Vowell reading. Megan and I were imagining the difficulties of two lesbians meeting for a blind date there. “I’ll be the one with the short hair and khakis.” “Okay, I’ll be wearing a fleece vest and a t-shirt that says ‘feminism is the radical idea that women are people’.” It’s like meeting at Buckingham Fountain during “Taste”.

So Sarah was awesome. Really unassuming and unpretentious and nerdy. I’m sure that she was a little nervous knowing that she was missing “24″ to do this reading, but she didn’t show it. Her depiction of her poor social skills (the self proclaimed Mt. St. Helen’s of conversation: dormant, luring old men to build log cabins on her slopes, then erupting with a fury over a topic about which the people she is with most likely do not share her passion) was especially touching to me. It drives me crazy when people tell me that talking a lot at parties or uncontrollably seeking to be the center-of-attention in a room full of strangers isn’t “shy”.

Little did I know that my evening had only begun…
(more…)

“the girl next door”= the john hughes genre for the 21st century February 26, 2006

At first, I didn’t know what to expect. The first five minutes were “Fast Times and Ridgemont High”, then it turned into “Say Anything”, until it finally became a 21st century take on “Risky Business”. If I just told you that it turns out that our protagonist starts dating the superhot girl housesitting next door, only to find out that she’s recently left the adult film industry, I think it would just sound like an adult film premise itself.

But, seriously, it was actually quite clever.
(more…)

i’ll take that as a compliment February 23, 2006

After complaining about apain in her ear for a couple days, I took Dina to the doctor. Turns out she had a bunch of earwax stuck way in her ear; the doctor performed the very complicated surgical procedure of squirting water in her ear to dislodge the wax.

Throughout the half hour or so we were there, he would stop periodically, look at Dina and say things like “You are so pretty!” or “Look at those eyes.” But my favorite were these:

1. (To me) “You’re going to have trouble when she gets older!” That one I’ve heard before, and I’m never quite sure how to react. This time I chose to laugh and say “I know, I know.”

2. (To Dina) “Don’t you want to be in commercials? I’ll be your agent; we could make a lot of money.” I marvelled at the honesty of this comment. After all, good looks are a commodity, whether we aknowledge it or not. And while we’ve made the chioce not to exploit our children’s emminent cuteness, they’ve already figured out that they can leverage that cuteness to get stuff (like candy).

another item on the list of things they don’t tell you about having a baby February 21, 2006

Last night, a married male friend of mine was shocked to discover that it is true that women are known to sometimes “go number two” while in labor. And although he responded that “it makes perfect sense now that you say it”, he also requested that I document this fact on my blog, lest others learn it the hard way. Of course, if you’ve read any of those “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” or “Making Every Month Count” books, you’d be prepared for this eventuality, but I guess by then it might be too late.

Honestly, though, it’s not the first thing on everyone’s mind. Worrying about this would be like wondering whether Mason pooped his pants before he plowed the military jet into the Mojave Desert (I’d link to the tv.com episode synopsis for those of you who don’t watch “24″, but I guess those synopses don’t include spoilers like this.).Anyway, in both cases, there are larger things at stake.

four eyes February 19, 2006

Bassie and I went to the eye doctor today. As usual, my prescription had changed almost imperceptibly, and I resisted the temptation to weaken my eyes further by giving them what they wanted.

Bassie, however, needs reading glasses. A mix of happiness (”my little girl is going up”) and guilt (”what did I do to her to make her eyes dim at such a young age?”) ran through my body. I actually got choked up when the doctor handed me the script. I got even more choked up when Bassie chose frames that were “just like Mommy’s”.

Now I am contemplating getting contacts (”torque lens technology has improved so much in the last ten years; you’ll really find them quite comfortable” I was assured). It’s kind of a big step. My glasses have become so much of my identity. And I would still wear them most of the time. I just wonder if it’s too late; if I’ve become one of those people that you’d look at and think: “That face wants glasses.”

I also challenge AFers (not to be confused with MFers) to come up with as many pun-based glasses store names as they can think of. Off the top of my head, I know that already taken are: Four Eyes, See View, Vision Site. Not yet trademarked, but coined by my illustriously hilarious husband is “Eye Eye, Captain”. Top that!

Note: picture of Bassie in her rad new glasses forthcoming…

from the country that gave us benny hill February 15, 2006

I used to think I was just too young to understand how old men chasing other old men dressed in drag was funny. Now I realize that I’m just too American. I’ve been loving the original BBC “The Office”, but I sense that there is a culture gap that doesn’t cross the pond. Their notions of what is acceptable and what is offensive seem to spin so arbitrarily on a dime. A woman gets a black leather corset and a vibrator from her work friends for her birthday, and that’s fine; but when someone makes a sexual advance on her in public, everyone is agast.

And despite the fact that the British think they invented the word irony, they don’t find it at all amusing when their boss makes a fool of himself doing a ridiculous robot dance.

It’s also amazing to see what they get away with over there. American TV is like the Teletubbies compared to this stuff. But then again, I think American workplaces must be far more prude as well. Or this could be like how thought that “high school parties” only happened in John Hughes movies. They’re going to make me one of those space suits soon so I can leave the bubble.

Modern Feminism

Feminists do not have to be against beauty. Feminists are for political, social, and economic equality for women. Let’s consider how this all works out.
(more…)

don’t worry people February 14, 2006

Just as when Eats started posting, and I got frightened outcries from avid accidentalfeminists asking, “Why are you encouraging people to cheat on their husbands with other women?”, Beautry Queen has sparked controversy as well. “Why are you talking about fashion, AF? Why do you look like Kelly LeBroc?” Look, the AF is comfortable enough with herself to allow disparate voices to be heard, different points-of-view to be explored. That’s what the avatars are for (read: so that you can ignore all the points-of-view that you don’t like. That’s what I do in general; it keeps me from getting depressed about my own inadequecies.)

you what the sandbox?

I figured it was time the kids learned this one. I went for Dina first, figuring that she would be the more vulnerbale of the two. I helped her through the joke, when we got to “I 8 the sandbox!” I looked at her and laughed:

Me: You 8 the sandbox?!?!?

She didn’t miss a beat.

Dina: Yeah! (chomping noises and giggling)

I guess it’s good that she assumed that we were sharing a moment, and not that I was trying to humiliate her. Win-win, I say.

Next was Bassie…

Bassie: I 8 the sandbox!

Me: You 8 the sandbox?!?!

Bassie: (pause, glow of recognition, smile) Yeah, I 8 the sandbox!

Their faith in the goodness of humanity is staggering.

Trend Watching February 13, 2006

There are some questions for which there can never be a satisfying answer – the one that plagues me the most is this: If a trend was unflattering the first time, why repeat it? Honestly, skinny jeans that taper at the ankle only exaggerate the size of a woman’s hips and tush. My eternal quest is to make both of those disappear. Tucking your pants into your boots only amplifies the before-mentioned areas – I think it may be even more unattractive than simply wearing skinny jeans.