Hi everyone, EATS here.
I’m done being a PUA. My neuroses are running too high. I am afraid of STDs, pregnancies, and the like. Maybe for good reason, maybe for accidental reason.
The lifestyle doesn’t suit the fears I already have. Neil Strauss wrote about his fears about sexually transmitted everythings.
Done. Seriously. Done.
Holy crap, people (and by the way, thanks to my friend Leslie for teaching me the difference between profanity and obscenity, which I seemed to have merged just now)!
Heather Armstrong writes “blah blah blah” in her New Year’s Entry, like, a week after I have a post with that very title. Coincidence? Yo, Heather, admit to everyone that you read my “dooce’s poor cousin” blog!
So, like, when do I get a photo shoot with Glamour?
Oh, man, I just linked to dooce. Twice. I am an official blognerd.
I get Justin’s voice mail for the third time in two days. So anxious for him to call me back, I go for a cute gimmick:
Voice Mail: Please leave your message after the beep…beep
Me: Today’s trivia question is: What do Justin and ZZ Top have in common? Okay, call me back for the answer. Bye.
So I think that’s kind of cute, and the answer, I think, is simple: they’re both from Texas. But today, I get a message from Justin:
Justin: Hey, I got your message. You said something about ZZ Top. I think the one thing we have in common is that we used to have the same maid…my parent’s maid was ZZ Top’s maid. Okay, bye bye.
Okay, not expecting that. Point: Justin.
And, BTW…WTF!
Just so ya’ll know, I was writing “WTF” all over my high school English books way before, thanks to IM, it became so pervasive that radio DJs were using it to be cute. Don’t believe me? If I hadn’t burned my copy of “A Light in August”, I’d prove it to you.
…but really, you try to keep a straight face as, one by one, children emerge from this thing. Okay, so this is a caterpillar, and the one at the Channukah fair today was a train, but they’re bascially built the same, and what I’m really concerned with is the opening that is, to me, highly suggestive of some sort of gigantic birth canal.
I guess the problem in using this image as a rough approximation of what I experienced today is that, being that is is an actual animal, the journey looks more suggestive of a travel through it’s digestive tract. Okay, let’s go with that one. Is that any less uncomfortable to watch?
Couldn’t they just have a Moon Walk? (Although we boycott Moon Walks ever since Bassie got trapped in one when the motor was cut off and it started deflating all around her.)
Happy Channukah!
