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Monthly Archives: November 2005

This is the only pre-planned response I have in my catalogue…

So “Gillian” called me back. Almost thirty minutes (exactly) after I erased her number from my cell phone. We chit-chatted a bit and then came the below interaction. Editor’s (me) notes preceeded by “Ed.” GILLIAN: I need to talk to you, about us. Ed. This can’t be good. ME: Okay. GILLIAN: Oh, this is hard [...]

how young is too young to apply to be a member of mensa?

This is an actual transcript of a conversation between myself and Bassie Klein, age 4. Me: You are a fuffer-nutter. Bassie: No I’m not, I’m a Bassie. Me: But you’re also a fuffer-nutter. Bassie: No, because I know another Bassie and she’s not a fuffer-nutter. So Bassie’s aren’t fuffer-nutters. Me: Bassie, do you even know [...]

I met a Lisa

From my posting recouting last weekend’s activity, I mentioned number closing a girl named “Gillian.” Here is my assessment of tonight’s date with “Gillian.” This girl is amazing. She is well-spoken, thoughtful, attractive, tough. She’s also 21 and in college. Although I read her pretty dead-on, there were certain impossibilities to penetrate. Whether or not [...]

pleasant surprises

My brother and sister-in-law like to google random things sometimes. And while once in a while it might get them into an uncomfortable email relationship with a transexual who wants to revert back to his original gender and undergo Orthodox conversion as a eunic, it also produces gems like this. Check out the “big finale”. [...]

Walk the Line vs. Rent

WTL= Johnny Cash Rent= Lame artsy a**holes in the East Village Point WTL. WTL= Joachim Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon sing all the songs themselves. Rent= A bunch of Broadway a**holes sing the songs themselves. Point WTL. WTL= Man in Black Rent= People with AIDS Point WTL. (Not that I’m not sympathetic to people suffering with [...]

Go DHS!

I have just lived through the milestone that is the “10th High School Reunion”. All in all, a good time. Here’s some highlights, in no particular order: 1) John convinced me that he really is the dumbest smart guy I know, so pressure’s off (come and claim your posting rights, Adjunct Professor Engelhart). 2) The [...]

this stuff gets better when you teach it

In high school, I just wanted Holden Caulfield to “grow up” and “stop complaining”. Now that I’m teaching it, I actually empathize with his ambivalence as to the nature of growth, change, and maturity. I also find it funny that this book has been sublimated into the sterile bowels of mainstream education. Now that, Alanis, [...]

Please someone make this for me…

Here is a recipe for something that sounds good. Whoever makes this for me PLEASE DO NOT add raisins. Bread pudding 2 cups half and half 1 15-ounce can pure pumpkin 1 cup (packed) plus 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar 2 large eggs 1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 [...]

Maybe I spoke prematurely…

I went back on a call last night – the call was that I was going to take a break from going out, meeting women, things of that nature. Although my intent began innocent, Eats came in full force. A delightful tapas dinner began the evening, some friends + friends of friends. Several pitchers of [...]

heads up, folks!

After twice being asked why I offered to help a woman cheat on her husband with another woman, I have been compelled to foward the following disclaimer: please note the name of the poster for each posting. Eats has kindly offered to be the symbolic male voice on this here website. Let’s give him the [...]